Eating Disorder, Reordered

Eating Disorder, Reordered


Five years ago, we were deep in a struggle… and it was a very dark and scary time. As a mother, one of your most basic instincts is to feed your child. So when she can’t or won’t eat it is devastating and overwhelming.  Dealing with an eating disorder is truly fighting “a monster,” but unlike many other illnesses, it is one often battled alone.

By God’s grace, her story is one of hope and renewal.  While it was most difficult, it is a time we look back at with thankfulness not only because of her healing, but because it gave us a great deal of compassion for those with battles we may not understand.

It is has been my priviledge to walk through this same struggle with other moms the way a few dear friends did for me. I’m profoundly thankful for those who walked alongside us in the darkest days and helped shoulder our tears and fears because they understood from personal experience. Their support offset comments – or worse, silence – from many that only added to our heartache. I hope that her candidly sharing her story can be an encouragment others who are struggling.

There is healing. There is hope. There is joy. 

Ryanne Molinari

In many previous blog posts, I have alluded to it. I have used it as an example of the dangers of perfectionism, as evidence of my own prideful nature, and as a point of reference to show how I’ve grown.

The “monster,” as my journal refers to it.

The eating disorder.

It’s something I can only really recognize in foresight and hindsight.

I remember Googling “symptoms of eating disorder” or “am I anorexic” as a frightened sixteen-year-old. However, while I was frightened by my sudden aversion to the healthy-sized portions of a growing teenager and by the falling number on my bathroom scale, I was also fascinated.

There is (or, at least, was) a romance to an eating disorder. It’s wrong that this is the case and I hate to think that I was not only drawn in by it, but desired it. Being thin became part of my…

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Words of wisdom from my favorite blogger.

Ryanne Molinari

I promise I’ll explain the cat sandwich in space picture in the end, so just bear with me for a few paragraphs, okay? Thanks.

I am what most would consider a perfectionist, which is in itself both a blessing and a curse. On the positive side, it leads me to, more often than not, accomplish my goals with a high degree of excellence. However, it also leads to misery when I meet with any outcome that I see as failure, which happens far too frequently because perfectionism’s continual lie is that if the outcome is in any way short of flawless, it might as well be a failure worth mourning.

As rough as perfectionism makes life, I am learning to move past it. I have had to logically tell myself that I probably will not earn 100% in every class (I might have to be happy with- dare I say it?- a regular A), I…

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A Europe State of Mind 

Ryanne Molinari

It has now been over a month since I returned from the trip of a lifetime: a two-and-a-half week journey through Europe with my family. When I call it the “trip of a lifetime”, I mean it! Sure, I had to punch my snoring relatives in the middle of the night once in a while, my suitcase was a pain to shut as my souvenirs accumulated, and I fear I spent my college fund on macarons and ice cream, but these are the little jests that life throws at adventurers and since every day I find myself thinking about our trip, I figured it was time for a post to summarize the top ten things I learned in Europe:

1. Everything sounds better in an accent…unless it’s German.

When I first stepped onto our British Airways flight and was called “dearie” and “love” by our oh-so-English flight attendants, I just…

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Why I Won’t Pursue a Man

Some words is a wise young woman!



Relationships and opinions about them are sticky.

People get passionate and everyone has an opinion. I think it’s something that we all work out, a choice that is ours to make. I can’t and don’t judge anyone’s personal journey, or the way they feel like God calls them to pursue romance.

As for me, I can state this (after much wrestling and questioning):

I can not and will not pursue a man.

Feminism is becoming a common doctrine of our world, and because of it, there is a question of whether or not women can approach a man in the way that they’ve been forbidden to in the past.

I’m not going to answer that for humanity. But as for me, I have one desire:

I want the (and yes, I said “the”) man that God has for me. God cares for the birds, so I believe that He intimately cares…

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Beyond Unworthy… I am Barabbas.

img_pd_110145_ep2e9oThe Gospels document the account of Good Friday.

Historians and archaeologists overwhelmingly affirm it.

But the Crucifixion is not just a story of long ago; it is the story of my heart… and yours.

Luke 23 records the scene: Having just been accused of blasphemy before the religious leaders for claiming to be the promised Messiah, Jesus was then brought before government officials, Pontius Pilate and King Herod, but they could not find any crimes.

“(Pilate) said to them, ‘You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people.  And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him. Neither did Herod, for he sent him back to us.  Look, nothing deserving of death has been done by him.  I will therefore punish and release him.‘” (23:13-16)


“they all cried out together, ‘Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas’ – a  man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city and for murder.  Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, ‘Crucify, crucify him!’  A third time he said to them, ‘Why, what evil has he done?  I have found in him no guilt deserving death.  I will therefore punish and release him.’ But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed.  So Pilate decided that their demand should be granted. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, for whom they asked, but he delivered Jesus over to their will.” (23:18-25)

Many of the very same people who had, just days before, welcomed Jesus as he entered Jerusalem shouting “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” (Mark 11:9) were now the same ones shouting “Crucify him!”  I have often wondered if I would have been among them, carried along by the crowd, one day praising and the next condemning. But, in truth, I am not simply one of the mocking crowd or even just of the grateful redeemed.

I am, in fact, Barabbas; the spotless Lamb of God took MY cross that day.

The guilty one was set free in exchange for the innocent Jesus.  Many believe that the two men crucified on either side of Jesus were Barabbas’ partners in crime as it was common for criminals to suffer together. The brutal, torturous death that Jesus willingly endured was designed for another, a penalty fitting for another’s crime.

The responses to Christ’s crucifixion that day are the same we see today.  First, there was indifference.  There were many curious onlookers apparently oblivious that the most significant event in history was taking place before their eyes (23:35a) while others were only focused on getting some free clothes (23:35b).

The second response was ridicule, mocking, hatred.  This attitude of rejection was blatantly and overwhelmingly demonstrated by the crowd, rulers, soldiers, and even one of the men being crucified. “‘Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!’” (23:35-39).

There was a third response: saving faith.  “BUT the other rebuked him, saying, ‘Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation?  And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.’ And he said, ‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.‘ And He said to him, ‘Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.‘” (23:40-43)

In that short passage is the fullness of the Gospel and one of the clearest portions of Scripture to show that salvation is by grace though faith alone:

  • He had an attitude of reverence for God (23:40)
  • He recognized his was a sinner deserving of punishment (23:41a)
  • He recognized Christ was sinless (23:41b)
  • He believed and proclaimed that Jesus was Lord and King (23:a)
  • He acknowledged that Jesus alone had the power to save him from eternal death (23:42b)

On Good Friday, the criminal was set free and the Innocent took his place…my place  The work is done. (John 19:30) The man on the cross who believed did nothing to earn grace and neither can we!  All glory and praise to God!


Of course, the story doesn’t end there… Because of Easter, I know that my Redeemer lives!  (Luke 24)

That is why that torturous cross is most beautiful to me, why I cherish that “Old, Rugged Cross”; it should have been mine. Because of His perfect righteousness, I no longer stand condemned.

Like Barabbas, I deserved the penalty and I will be eternally thankful that the Savior took my place.



I’ve enjoyed watching the competitions in the 2014 Olympic games, but the back stories are often more interesting than what happens on the ice or the slopes.

Scott Hamilton’s glory days may be behind him, but he’s certainly a great example of a true winner… and one who happily and humbly takes second place.

Do you want to be a model? Well, now you can be…

This short video demonstrates how easily images that show “ideal women” can be manipulated… and how easily we can be manipulated as a result.


The women’s responses were fascinating:

“Once someone else has done your makeup and someone else has done your hair and someone has directed the way your body looks and taken away your imperfections, then there’s not much left of who you really are.”

“It’s natural to be critical of yourself… but you have to know that the ideal just doesn’t exist.”

What a powerful reminder.   For true beauty, no photoshop is required.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7